When I can't do this anymore

You know when you're running in a group or in a pack during a race and you're halfway through the distance? There is that point where the excitement has worn off and the conversation has faded. You're stopped taking in the scenery and already discussed the immediate topics (race calendars, training plans, etc.). Your thoughts and efforts turn inward as your running demons slowly rumble from their sleep.

Suddenly, everyone in the group in the same place. Not just physically on the same road heading to the same finish line, but mentally combating whatever dull pain or nagging thought is telling you to stop. At this point, you feel closer to the other runners because you are bonded over your shared struggle. You are all fighting the fight together and you are all going win the fight together. You forget the world around you because you have a group to go through it with.

Then, someone breaks off from the group either to tie their shoe or get water or speed off. You're jolted out of sync and feel a bit alien, as if you had just been dropped back onto planet Earth.

That is how I feel today. While in the middle of this blogging run (coming up on two years now), two of my favorite blogs have separated from the pack for a walking break and I'm not sure if they'll be rejoining the group. I'm about a week or two behind on my posts, but I just read that Feet Meet Street is going dark for a while and that the injuries at Notes of a Non-Runner have taken a turn for the worst.

Reading a (potentially) last post on a blog is depressing. It's like talking to someone with stage four cancer: you're holding out for them, but still make sure to hug them goodbye.

Aside from sending my best wishes to Nancy and hoping that Nitmos's boss institutes a daily blog break, I started thinking about how things would go down here if I couldn't run or blog anymore.

Of course, I would want my last post to be a clever, epic, insightful, thought-provoking, tear-producing, monolithic testament to my running labors--you know, just how you want every post to be but you're never able to invest enough time in writing so you just crank out your immediate thoughts and hope no one noticed the typo in paragraph three before you got a chance to fix it. (Don't bother checking, I already fized it.) But if it just made people snicker, sniffle, and shoe-up (yes, I did reach for the third "S") I would be happy.

Fortunately for me--who takes days to formulate and write a post--the second I read Nitmos's and Nancy's posts I knew exactly what my last post would be. Not only that, but I already know the opening sentence, last sentence, and the frame for pretty much everything in between. So what would the post be about? Let's just say it would be very appropriate for me and this blog and that a snicker and a sniffle would probably be produced--most likely at the same time. And that's all I'm saying about it!

And what about the rest of you? Do you all know what you'll say when you can't do this any more? Would it be sad? Uplifting? A hilarious riot? Would it be the greatest story ever told or would it be a humble bow? I think it would be cool to know.

PS - to Nitmos and Nancy, keep on running in your own ways. You'll be in my thoughts when I'm out there trying to bash away my running demons.


The Laminator said...

Geez...that was a little morbid. I thought THIS was your bailout post. I'm glad it's not because I can't handle any more disappearing acts after the sad state of affairs over those two.

CyclingDivas said...

Wow, so sad. :(

Jess said...

I've seen a lot of blogs come and go, so the transitory nature of this medium isn't really new to me. I miss those who are gone, or who I no longer follow, but we all move on.

I've never given any thought to what I would post as a last post, simply becuse I've never considered giving up blogging.

Marcy said...

I'm with the Lam. You scared me for a minute.

As for me? I'm just going to find a picture of a big ole dump in the toilet, post it, and be done with it :P Kidding! I honestly don't think I'll ever delete my blog entirely (don't get me wrong I've had thoughts of "bleck I just want to stop") but I like having my options open, ya know?

Kevin said...

I was reading the post thinking you were bailing too.

I really havent thought much about what I'd say

Nitmos said...

I'll let you know when I'm in remission.

Great post! (And not because you mentioned me.)

Michelle said...

Hey I am fairly new to your blog so please keep on writing!!! I think your funny!!!!


Non-Runner Nancy said...

He he, Look at us inspiring morbidity. JK. It's always good to put things in perspective and be able to see how fortunate you are. i don't think I've written the last post. Just have to figure out what is going to be the new running. Cuz you know, brown is the new black. :D

You're the best. Thanks for all your kind words. Glad you're not hanging it up.